A husband shared his wife’s struggles with me. He told me that his wife goes to work every day, happy and energetic; she is a hard worker who has successfully climbed the corporate ladder. Beneath her accomplishment lies intense emotional pain inflicted by sexual abuse when she was 16 years old. She did not work on her healing, and she remains stuck in her predicament.
This woman wakes up at night crying helplessly. The silent cry has completely consumed her. The husband has recommended seeking professional counseling; she declined and declared that she would rather die in her pain than seeking help.
The reasons why silent cries hurt:
This story provoked me to assess the silent cries, the painful emotional wounds in our world. The cities, villages, airports, eateries, and institutions are a beehive of activities. Behind these activities, there are silent cries. Job calls these silent cries, groans. “The groans of dying rise from the city, and the sons of the wounded cry out for help.” Job 24:12
A good number of people have invisible wounds, which no doctor can detect. These are the people who have been assaulted, misunderstood, betrayed, damaged by gossips and rumors. Some of these people heard a critical remark that cuts deep, and maybe the person who made it is not aware of the damage. There would be a temptation to ruminate around this pain.
People handle their emotional pain in different ways. Some people turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, destructive conversations, or food addiction as a coping skill. However, it would be unwise to ignore your emotional pain and the intense silent cries. Pain seeks recognition, and denial is a recipe for disaster. Acknowledging your pain gives you the boldness to address it.
Here are four steps to start addressing your pain:
- Acknowledge your pain. Numbing or avoiding it deepens its roots. Permit yourself to grieve your loss. Grieving is a healthy way to open the floodgates of the healing water, which ushers in a new beginning.
- Reach out for help. Pain isolates you, convincing you there is no hope and there is no need to try. Being alone is a part of the healing journey. However, prolonged isolation is unhealthy and can invite self-blame, victim mindset, and bitterness.
- Master your lessons. An attitude of learning will help uncover the wisdom and experience learned from your ordeal, transforming you into a more resilient person.
- Do not be stuck in the past pain, do not keep on reviving it. Deny it an opportunity to steal your beauty and self-esteem; do not let it hold you back from being your best. Turn it around and command it to propel you to greater heights.
Conclusion:
It’s important to note that our pain and scars remind us that we need the Great Physician’s help – Jesus Christ, who is only a prayer away. It is also a reminder that we hurt through people, and we heal through people.
Beatrice Ndura is a Mental Health Coach, a writer, and the host of Musings Podcast, which addresses mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
©Beatrice Ndura
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